Who's Perspective is it anyway?

My review and teachings based on 'The 4 Agreements' By Don Miguel Ruiz.

Want to make your life better but can't be reading a million self help books? Then follow an ancient 4 phase process and cheat yourself to a better life! Better still incorporate it with one of our individual self help reiki programmes and make those changes stick!

Now is your time.......read on...

So you sit there gasping for breath trying to calm down as these waves of panic, anger or frustrations take over your every thought and thus your physical body. But instead of sending calming or loving thoughts you end up hearing that pesky voice calling in the depths of your mind "knew you couldn't do it!! You're stupid to think you could have achieved that!! You're hopeless!! A waste of space!! You're not worthy!! Nobody wants to be around you!! You're boring!! Uneducated!! Not rich enough!! Not successful enough!! You're not a good parent, spouse or child!! Nobody cares!! Nobody listens!! I just want to be hugged and loved!!!

STOP!!! Just for a moment give me your time and let me change your angle by asking a simple Question -

"Who's perspective are you coming from?"

Is it truly your own? Or maybe a friends? Or a parent? Possibly a well respected figure in society (teacher, governor, etc?) or maybe it's society itself? Your home towns' perspective? Who's is it?

Read the following article and if you feel ready to take the next steps to change your outlook or situation or looking for guidance contact me via my

email: artadarling@gmail.com

or visit my website: www.artadraling.wix.com/marlowreiki

Let me show you how to transform your whole being and create a more fulfilled lifestyle.

Who's perception is it anyway?

It's not new the pressure of living under scrutiny it's been there since the start of civilisation when tribal family's colonised together to help share the load of hunting, feeding, housing and nursing to our basic human needs!

Judged against others and their opinion on how well you fit into the tribe and punished if you didn't tow the line!!

Thousands of years ago a nation known as the Toltec made up from the greatest minds of their time doctors, scientists, philosophers, artists all shared similar views and created a way of life following 4 agreements!

This is explained in depth by the author Don Miguel Ruiz in his book called "The 4 agreements". Well worth a read. I utilised his findings and incorporated these simple yet powerful beliefs into my healing/meditation programmes.

In his book it describes how the masters created these agreements from the same unity of truth as all sacred traditions found around the world. Not a religion but honours all spiritual masters that have walked the earth and it does embrace spirituality but in most parts it is a way of life expressing happiness and love!

Let's face it who wouldn't want that kind of living?

It teachers us how in our life time our parents and society tell us how to think and how to behave. What is right and what is wrong based on ideas of society. You have made agreements based on what you have been taught.

As young children we did not possess the opportunity to choose our beliefs but we agreed to follow a pattern of behaviour passes into us from others and we become domesticated.

This belief becomes our virtual book of law that controls our minds. This Law is so powerful that without question whatever is within it is your truth/reality. You judge everybody by this book of law and yourself included.

Every time we or others do something against this virtual book of law the over bearing voice (The Judge in us) says "we/you are guilty and should be punished/ashamed). This happens many times a day subconsciously and guess what if we see these judgements as stacking bricks there's going to come a time when we overload and it all comes crashing down causing discord and chaos!

We are left reliving these judgements restocking (reinstating) and putting more and more emphasis on them which in turn just allows them to gather momentum to an even greater fall!! Your breaking point.

So you are either the persecutor passing judgment on others and this collection of opinions take over your mind so much so it becomes unbearable and the only release is to say them out load! Off load to others getting rid of the guilt of carrying negative judgments. Erasing them from your mind creating space and initial sanctuary from the crazy job of stacking them. This could be commonly known as "Gossiping".

Let's face it we have all been guilty of this during our lives as children and adults.

This feeling offers little relief because yep there's that judgement creeping in again "you shouldn't have gossiped now you are the one being judged and initially by you the original persecutor" if it gets out that you've gossiped others may judge you just as harshly!

But by who's judgement are you living by and by who's perspective?

Maybe you are the one being judged by society or a group of friends and this is known as the victim phase. As the victim you carry the blame the guilt and shame. It's the voice that says "you are not good enough, not intelligent, enough rich enough, not normal enough". Your judge agrees and you say you are not good enough not intelligent enough etc" once again you are soon stacking those judgments and all of this is based on a belief system we never chose to believe!

These beliefs are so strong that years later when we experience new ideas or concepts and try to form our own decisions we find these beliefs control our minds and lives and create confusion on who we are and who we want to be and which direction we go?

If you want to stop stacking and start to live a life of happiness, fulfilment and unconditional love then you have to seek the courage to break away from these agreements.

The 4 agreements are highlighted below but if you wish to study them in depth read "Don Miguel Ruiz book".

1st agreement - "Be impeccable with your word"

Through your thoughts and words you hold the greatest power to manifest your creation. All the magic you possess is in these thoughts and words! One word can make or destroy a life. We can place a spell on someone with our word or release them from a spell.

Think how many times have you said to someone "you keep doing that you'll hurt yourself" guess what if they listen and believe those words they do eventually hurt themselves. I know I've fallen guilty of this with my children.

How many others have you put a spell on?

How many have put a spell on you and you have believed them?

This then becomes your reality yet another judgement encoded in your virtual book of law! Yet another way of how you see yourself. None of which is positive. How much of this is true really depends on how you choose to process these judgements.

As mentioned previously Gossip is the poison spilled from the tongue trapping you and your victim into a false sense of perception!

It serves no positive service to anyone yet we have been conditioned to this way of conversing from an early age. Gossip has now sadly become the main form of communication in society. You only have to go on the popular social media sites to witness this. Your opinion formed from a virtual law/agreements made as a child created by others before you and guess what is not necessarily true!!

Refraining from gossiping eliminates the poison from your life and removes others' ability to place their spells on to you. You remove the weeds as such from your garden of Eden and your mind becomes futile for positivity and true unconditional love. Negative thoughts cannot survive because you refuse to feed them, they may enter by other means be it a situation out of your control but you have the power to choose not to feed it and soon enough it will die and leave your garden of peace creating space for great opportunities that pass you by.

Being impeccable with your word allows you to be truly happy and at peace.

2nd Agreement - "Don't take anything personally"

Whatever the situation don't take anything personally. The reason we take things personally is because we agree with the person deep down our book of law tells us it's true and now we are confirming this belief. Nothing others do is because of you, it's because of themselves. I know, it's a tough concept to get your head around. So consider even when they insult or hurt you directly it has nothing to do with you but their feelings about themselves or their opinions of others based on their beliefs their virtual book of law. If we allow their words to weave their magic we are feeding the weeds again! Instead choose to walk away without retaliation and realise they have their lessons to learn.

As long as you have been impeccable with your word and choose to not take this negative insult personally then you can indeed walk away a stronger individual. The freedom this will provide allows you to keep your heart open and no one can hurt you.

You can say "I love you" without fear of rejection. You can ask for what you need say yes or no without guilt or self judgement. You can live a life of truth and a state of bliss without anything ever affecting you.

A tall order to reach? I hear your fears and to that I ask where do those fears derive from? Has society told you that you cannot reach this point as its only assessable to gurus and great spiritual leaders? Go on give it a go throw that belief away and just see what opportunities come by!

3rd agreement - "Don't make assumptions"

Every day we make assumptions and the difficult arises when we believe this to be our truth. Assumptions about what people are doing, saying, thinking, we then take it personally, judge and blame them reacting by sending emotional poison with our thoughts or words.

You can see how the spiral begins all from our virtual book of law!! That damn book hey I bet if it was real you would have burned it by now??!!! Don't worry this virtual book of law can also be burned. I can show you the techniques to do so and have helped many reslove this in my reiki sessions.

We assume we know what our partners, parents, friends are thinking or doing, we take it personally and then judge them and ourselves referring to that pesky virtual book of law and lay blame creating emotional poison with our thoughts or words once more.

We also make assumptions that our partners, parents, friends know what we are thinking or doing and when they don't act as we assume they should we feel hurt annoyed angry and we make assumptions that everyone sees the world as we do! Thinks, feels judges and believes the way we do and that they live by our virtual book of law!!

Stop assuming and the way you communicate changes forever. Your relationships no longer suffer the consequences of ill judged assumptions because you will know the truth.

Without making assumptions your words are free from poison and thus creating a safe haven in the mind and love onto others.

The last agreement is the most important and makes allowances for us being human reminding us we are not a computer!!

4th agreement "Do your best"

In all situations do your best but be mindful that your best will change and not always be the same. It is adaptable to fit in with your circumstance and any given moment.

If you are fighting fit and healthy your best will be higher quality than when you feeling poorly or low in energy. Your best will always be a reaction to your emotional state happy, sad content, angry, jealous. Regardless of its quality always do your best.

There is an honesty to this last agreement that reminded me when reading it that we are only human. But also just how important it is. The first agreement will only work if we do our best.

Don't expect to always be impeccable with your word just do your best.

Don't expect to never take anything personally just do your best.

Don't assume that you will never make assumptions just do your best.

By doing your best all those habitual thoughts and physical habits that you have created over the years will decrease and dissolve eventually over time!

Repeating this way of life gives you the freedom of transformation and honouring these agreements removes you from the negative caverns of your minds.

Allowing the brain to release the feel good chemicals (endorphins, oxytocin, serotonin, and dopamine to name the main 4) into our bodies relieving us from a pitiful existence into a fulfilled life. Walking your true path and feeling completely connected to your true self in the here and now!!

When I was taught this by a fellow Reiki Master I was instantly intrigued and made a promise to myself to follow it as best as I could. What I hadn't counted on was the journey it would take me on.

Exploring my very own virtual book of law and by looking at my beliefs, I was forced to look at the book of law of those that have shaped my life, parents, brothers, sisters, friends, society, teachers, enemies the list goes on!

I realised just how many beliefs I could release and let go of! Just how many scenes that repeated in my head I could go back and heal! Re-coding the echoes of my thoughts and re-imprinting the frequencies of the brain, to heal the emotions created from unstable beliefs or situations out of my control. Painting a positive future as a result.

Of course it is not suggesting that all your beliefs are wrong. For example in order to live successfully in society we have to treat others with respect we cannot seriously harm another person just because we believe they deserve it. Beliefs learned by your own or others' experiences such as not to touch fire or it will burn you provides a positive service to your life and keeps you safe.

I learned by utilising reiki and meditation I was able to break the behavioural thought patterns that were keeping me from being the very best I could be. I was able to walk the true path without fear.

Reiki Precepts

Just for today do not anger

Just for today do not worry

Just for today be humble

Just for today be honest in your dealings with yourself and others

Just for today be compassionate to yourself and others

These precepts marry beautifully with the Toltec agreements! But it also reminds us to be mindful in each and every moment.

I hope you have enjoyed this article and feel free to leave your thoughts to inspire others or contact me for any spiritual guidance, meditation or reiki healing.

Love and light from me to you

Alexis Darling

Reiki Master/teacher

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